1. |
not today
03:09
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i need constant validation
from all of my friendships
or i'll feel like i'm fucking up
it makes me feel selfish, i fucking hate it
yeah i know anxiety sucks
but what am i to do, i got nothing left to prove
no ones getting in my way
i still feel roadblocks, they're getting heavier
this feeling in my chest won't go away
maybe i can take on the world, but i don't feel like it today
i tried to stop smoking, but switched to vaping
they say it's healthy
but i don't believe that shit
does it matter, its cheaper anyways
and nicotine still runs through my veins
but i still enjoy the fix, i don't know how to quit
anything that'll calm my brain
from getting too stressed out, that's what it's all about
i'm trying not to go insane
maybe i could quit when i want
but i don't feel like it today
i'm staying busy, it's overwhelming
i think i'm happy
cause there's no time to be depressed
i'm moving forward, maybe too fast
it makes me busy to the point of distress
but i don't know how to live, i think that this is it
anything to get through the day
and one day i'll slow down, and i'll have to think about
did i accomplish anything
maybe one day i could slow down, but i don't feel like it today
and maybe one day i'll be alright, but i don't think it's today
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2. |
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always fantasized about a different life
but i wonder why because i'm just fine
so i wash it away, make the same mistakes
trick my brain again, i think that i'm okay
i can't believe it i think i'm living a lie
i'm so overwhelmed it makes me wanna die
i'll go out on top in a blaze of glory
with a gun in my hand and a bottle of whiskey
i won't live long enough to become the villain
i just want my friends to think i died happy
always think that i can go back to my old days
but i filled my free time with bullshit dreams
and trying to feel anything
waking up at 5 to make a living
i die inside every time i hear my alarm
i know that they check, so you can take the drugs
they're still a fucking part of me
lazy afternoons
don't really happen much but when they do
i'll lose all motivation
and i won't talk to anyone but you
tell me is there something
to break this shitty feeling of apathy
give me any answer
to make me feel like a normal human being
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3. |
the game show
01:53
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got way too attached again
that's how i fuck up all my relationships
i'm a sucker for attention
so if you give me ten, you'll get a hundred percent of me
i know that i'm crazy
and i get obsessed too easily
so i'm trying to chill but it's not that easy
so i'll leave you be
but i get depressed to easily
so if i check in tomorrow i hope you don't hate me
dysphoria has hit me hard
and i've been too scared to say it i'm too scared to talk
the make the skirt and the lipstick please me
i just want anyone to think i'm pretty
especially
i'm working on me
cause sometimes i'm they but i'm forced to be he
and all of my friends
think that its cool
but i feel like a poser i feel like a fool
so help me feel valid cause i need a friend
and you're all supportive but i'm no good at
conversation yeah i know that i need help
it makes me feel worthless but i don't know what else to do
i fucked up with you
i don't know why i crave it so much
yeah i know that i'm bad yeah i know that i suck
pick apart my brain, put it back
take away all my problems, give me skills that i lack
i wanna be better
but how do i try
cause therapy's scary and i don't know why
so this is the year
i focus on me
and i'll fuck it all up and lose everything
i hope i'll be happy
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4. |
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i'm too nice for my own sake, it's killing me to be this way
but that's just how i was raised, i don't think i could change
and it's my one good personality trait
and if i focus on me, everyone would run away
so let's see if i can change who i am
i know it's gonna be hard and i might lose all my friends
i don't think that i could put myself in front of anyone
cause i won't be happy if i focus on my problems
am i selfish already
i won't be able to tell unless you tell me
i hope its not pity that's keeping you here
started walking around baltimore at night
it's pretty peaceful when i hold my hand against the moonlight
then it got too intense like i've been known to do
i guess i'm scared of losing anything i get attached to
always worried i might lose my career
i'll lose my job i'll lose my house and everything i hold dear
and if it happened i'd move to philly
start a new life forget my friends forget my family
i'll just run and hide and get away from my problems
cause i don't think a therapist could ever solve them
i'll start anew
so let's see if i can get through the week
without falling into my destructive personality
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diet weed recommends:
died in the garage
by The Neckbeards
i play drums in this band :)
go to album
We're In Your Hands, Lady Q
by Joe Shlabotnik
THE hidden gem from southern maryland. please listen!!
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The Planetary Nutbums
by The Planetary Nutbums
four of the most talented people i've ever heard making crazy tunes. just listen to space mountain. watch out for them y'all!!
go to albumIf you like diet weed, you may also like:
featured on Bandcamp Radio Sep 1, 2023
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Sidewalkin'
by the cigarette bums
An album of garage punk stompers that will stick in your ears like bubblegum to your shoes.
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Artificial Bouquet
by Frail Body
New on Deathwish, explosive screamo from this Illinois band, full of scalding riffs and searing vocals.
go to album
